you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
