Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize