Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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