Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
