He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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