I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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