We named our party play list daddy issues
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
