Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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