Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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