So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
