too bad you live with your parents still
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
