Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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