i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
