We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
