Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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