the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
