I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
