yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you will always have a special place in my vag
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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