smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
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I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
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Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.