Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.