he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.