i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
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we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
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Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.