at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
its liver damage thursday
Randomize