at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
