I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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