i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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