Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
