Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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