Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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