My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
