Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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