the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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