Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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