if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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