I just threw up on my dentist
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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