i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
im holly from the hills drunk
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
