Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
