We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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