Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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