all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
