this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
