I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
