It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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