i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
