we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
