so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
