I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
