Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
