It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize