The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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