I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
