A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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