Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK. http://tfl.nu/nxhd
  Replies (4) Good night (819) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games? http://tfl.nu/dghf
  Replies (21) Good night (1587) Bad night (3125)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  ID DO HER

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): ID DO HER (1-904): SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK http://tfl.nu/y38s
  Replies (17) Good night (827) Bad night (6812)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes http://tfl.nu/g514
  Replies (11) Good night (4776) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible... http://tfl.nu/v1vf
  Replies (33) Good night (7159) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me. http://tfl.nu/s4ft
  Replies (36) Good night (7309) Bad night (1628)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile http://tfl.nu/t48c
  Replies (5) Good night (2442) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers." http://tfl.nu/lbn1
  Replies (5) Good night (2752) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain? http://tfl.nu/or8y
  Replies (3) Good night (2732) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country. http://tfl.nu/h8yr
  Replies (10) Good night (2248) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma. http://tfl.nu/71da
  Replies (6) Good night (1431) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude. http://tfl.nu/yo4l
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today. http://tfl.nu/im22
  Replies (11) Good night (598) Bad night (2503)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay http://tfl.nu/przh
  Replies (4) Good night (418) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  It was "against protocol"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me. (479): It was "against protocol" http://tfl.nu/5591
  Replies (5) Good night (797) Bad night (355)

Randomize