That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"