My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.