i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap