jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
