Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.