Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.

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(503): well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride. http://tfl.nu/51rz

Replies (22) Good night (5849) Bad night (622)
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(416): View more from Ontario

Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.

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(416): Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management. http://tfl.nu/afuw

Replies (16) Good night (4862) Bad night (641)
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(206): View more from Washington

you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."

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(206): you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing." http://tfl.nu/7ght

Replies (16) Good night (5831) Bad night (1122)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.

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(303): Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever. http://tfl.nu/ckan

Replies (11) Good night (1576) Bad night (6640)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.

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(319): Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100. http://tfl.nu/5iyq

Replies (12) Good night (2589) Bad night (1429)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors

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(250): We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors http://tfl.nu/t3jz

Replies (11) Good night (5324) Bad night (928)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god

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(662): I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god http://tfl.nu/z3js

Replies (6) Good night (822) Bad night (1519)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.

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(606): Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas. http://tfl.nu/5seh

Replies (3) Good night (1393) Bad night (1457)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.

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(306): We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit. http://tfl.nu/ure1

Replies (1) Good night (699) Bad night (1056)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.

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(336): I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat. http://tfl.nu/ctm6

Replies (5) Good night (1852) Bad night (632)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.

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(918): I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever. http://tfl.nu/j10b

Replies (14) Good night (837) Bad night (3825)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.

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(780): I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets. http://tfl.nu/hrg7

Replies (2) Good night (1043) Bad night (428)
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(613): View more from Ontario

That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.

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(613): That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover. http://tfl.nu/as9t

Replies (1) Good night (827) Bad night (314)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started

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(248): I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started http://tfl.nu/udux

Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (446)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows

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(785): Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows http://tfl.nu/dob8

Replies (0) Good night (43) Bad night (60)

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