So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.