Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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