All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
