I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
3pm strippers are depressing
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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