Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
