She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
