i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
