we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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