your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
