He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
