NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
